A Chaotic Mess of My Own Poetic Words

Ok, so it's been terrible. My life just sucks. I'm not even being sarcastic or dramatic. My second step dad just did something totally stupid. Well, a few things actually. I don't think my mom's gonna stick around for any of it. I have two other brothers and a sister. If we leave him, this will be the third time we'd have to go through this. I don't think I could handle it. I don't even know about them because they are all younger. We were really counting on him to be "the one." He just seemed like the perfect dad. :(

And...I don't mean to sound selfish, but my mom can't support all of us on her own. If he leaves us, we're screwed. She doesn't have a job fit for supporting four kids and herself. She just got a job for some extra cash because she thought it'd be nice and she got bored at home all alone. Christmas is coming up soon, too. I don't mind, but I'm not so sure about how I really feel. Deep inside, well...there is no deep inside. I want to beat the shit out of my step dad for doing those things.

I am just so confused and frustrated.

It's been a crazy couple of weeks. My computer bombed again and I can only get on at my grandma's. I have had so much homework lately. I just finished my book, and the computer lost 21 pages when it bombed!Grr. I'm really stressed. I am still on crutches. I am so sick of them; I just want to walk. I get to walk in the boot in a week though! Yess. Well, I dumped my bf for no reason when I thought there was one. I feel totally stupid and I can't go begging and apologizing. I am so freakin smart! Hah yea right! Well, don't want to totally bore anyone so I am gonna go! Later

Wow. This is my first entry with this new name. This feels all clean and fresh. On my old lj site, there were so many entries about old stuff that I look back at now and it weirds me out.

I am so tired. Just got dumped three days ago. I feel more and more dizzy and sick with each day that passes. This whole "great idea" is getting harder and harder. But, someday I'm and going to meet my "goal".

I better go do my hw now. I have to go into English early tomorrow to finish my benchmark essay. It's one of my best writings of this year so far.

later